thoughts of January 1st… approx. 8:34pm
what do you call a state of emotional equilibrium? you’re not hopelessly in love. you’re not angry at the world. you’re not depressed. you’re not outstandingly proud… you’re just there, soaking up the world around you.
it’s times like these I like to sit and think about all the possibilities I have. all the opportunities I plan to find. all the plans I can make. oh how exciting life can be for me. and it is… but then it get’s a little overwhelming. I start to get down on my self. I’ll never have the drive to do all those things, things like that only happen to a very few people, what will my life amount to? And then I start to ask myself, who will I share it with? Will I become old and grey alone with 6 cats? or will I find someone who wisks me away into the nicholas sparks fairy tale. will I have to settle for someone who can support me, and that I can have a mutual relationship with? and then I go even further… will i have a family to support? one that makes me proud? of course, aren’t all parents proud of their children? I think that’s a form of love. And then we’re back at love. And it makes me angry that I don’t have it yet… and before I know it. I have infact upset my equilibrium and experienced every emotion that I was complaining of not having.
there is no such thing as equilibrium. we homo sapiens. such silly creatures.
